How to Become an Extraordinary Dinner-Party Guest
Dinner-parties, the make or break of any adult relationship, whether it is with a co-worker, meeting the in-laws for the first time or just your usual group of friends. This is the new test to truly find if a person is really a good guy. There are a few simple rules to make sure that you are a stand-up guest at any Dinner-party you attend.
Step 1. RSVP early. Nothing can be more frustrating for a host than waiting for one person to let them know if they will be coming or not. They need to buy food and wine, and this is very hard if they are unsure of the number of guests. Also tell the host if you have any dietary requirements at this point in time. It is tremendously rude if the host pulls a slow roast out of the oven that they have been working on all day and serve it up to you only for you to say you cannot eat it because you are vegetarian. Ensure you only mention very important requirements; do not turn down the tomato bake because you are not a fan of tomatoes. Be sure to try to eat everything on your plate, just like you were told to when you were five.
Step 2. Class it up. Always try to look your best; while presentation isn’t everything let’s be honest, it sure is a hell of a lot. You want to make sure you look nice, so the host knows you took the time and effort to present yourself just for that occasion. If you are worried about being overdressed, don’t be. You can always call the host to see what is adequate, if not being overdressed is a lot better than being underdressed. People are going to stare, so make sure its worth their while. If you’re not sure on what to wear, put a nice suit jacket or blazer over a good pair of paints and a neutral shirt.
Step 3. Bring a gift. These people have gone to a tremendous effort to entertain and feed you and the least you can do is bring something to show your appreciation. Forget wine, it is very much overplayed, most people invited to the Dinner-party will most likely bring a bottle of wine, just to drink themselves on the night while the host, who has already supplied wine, is left with one glass. Be different and bring something they do not have to use that night but can save for later, for example; a fine bottle of balsamic vinegar or infused olive oil for cooking, a box of potpourri is always a good idea to give the house a warm scent that is not overpowering. If they have a dog a doggy treat to let the host know you have thought about this ahead and is thinking of the whole family, a nice box of gourmet tea or if the host has a home bar or is very interested in mixology, a cocktail kit. Always remember to put thought into the gift and try to personalise it. When presenting the gift, do it in a secretive manner, not being flashy as it might embarrass the guests who have not brought anything.
Step 4. Arrive on time. This is key, if you arrive too early the host will not be ready for guests yet and you can make them feel uncomfortable and rushed, arrive too late and you will appear sloppy and rude. Nobody wants to be the one that arrives during the first course of dinner, stopping the party just so the host can exchange pleasantries again. However, if you know you are going to arrive late prior to the event for a particular reason, make sure to give the host plenty of notice and apologies. Also, if there is a sizeable amount of unexpected traffic or you are caught at work and are aware that you will be late, make sure to call (do not text, it can be impersonal and can show you do not care).
Step 5. Always offer to help. This will show what a generous person you really are. Offer to help get dinner ready with the host or clean up, the chances are that the host will turn down your offer, but you will still look like an outstanding guest (without doing the work.) Continue to ask if there is anything you can help with throughout the night, but here is the tricky part, you do not want to sound pushy or make it look like the host cannot take care of their own party. Walk the fine line where you still offer to help without being too rude.
Step 6. Do not outstay your welcome. Learn to take hints, if you see the host constantly looking at the clock, yawning, looking tired or saying what a big day they have tomorrow, realise that it is a cue for you to leave. Politely stand up, thank the host immensely, offer to help clean up and then leave. Your leaving will in-turn allow the other guests to leave at the same time. However, if the host continues to pour wine and moves the conversation to the other room, be sure to stay and be polite, you do not want to be rude and leave, making it look like you are not enjoying yourself.
Step 7. Write a thank you letter. This is your special way to show how much you appreciate the host’s work they put into entertaining and feeding you. Try not to leave the letter too late, make sure to send it sometime in the following week after the party. And be sure to hand write the letter and put a memory from the night that you all shared, this reminds the host of what a good time they had.
And that is how you become an extraordinary Dinner-party guest.